We cut Cooper's hair. It wasn't supposed to be this short but it is and all of his curls are now gone. It has traumatized me. Kent doesn't quite understand why I am so upset and I am slowly coming to realize why myself.
Let me share. First of all he looks like he is now 5 years old. I feel like I have lost 3 1/2 years of his life. Which means he is that much closer to hating his parents and thinking we are the worst people in the world. That much closer to the first time he yells at me and tells me he hates me. That much closer to him leaving for his mission and me being with out him for 2 years. That much closer to him getting married and me loosing him to his wife. He is growing so fast and I just want to keep him forever. I want him to always love being with me, to want up to see what I am doing, to cuddle me when he gets hurt. I am scared to loose all that.
My Mom always called me her baby girl. It annoyed me. She did it during my preteen years, my teenage years and I think probably would still if she had the opportunity to introduce me to someone new. I get it now, or at least am starting to. She, like me, wanted to hold on to her children.
I went in to do my usual good night ritual with Cooper just now. I go in after he is asleep and before I go to bed to look at him and tell him I love him one last time for the day. Lately I am surprised at how much bigger he is than I remember him being. He takes up so much more of the crib than I remember him doing the night before. It is another reminder that he is growing so fast and that I need to cherish him everyday. I have the worst memory and I find unless I have journaled or scrapbooked memories that I don't remember them. I hope I have done well enough in writing things down so that I will be able to remember what he was like through all his stages of life.
My baby is growing up.
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| Before cut. You can really see how much hair he had from this view. |
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| Another before picture. |
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| (Sorry for the red eye) A few days before we cut his hair in his new PJ's. |
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| After his hair cut. |
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| During his hair cut. This one should be before the last pic but I can't figure out how to change the oder of pics once they are downloaded. (Can somone shed some light on how to?) |
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| Another after hair cut. |
Awwww........I remember when we came home from the hospital for the first time with Candice. Cassie was staying with my mom and dad at the time. When I brought Candice into the house I couldn't wait to see Cassie. That was the first time we had EVER been apart. I wanted to see my "baby" that I had been missing for three or four days. When she saw us she came running to the door for a hug. She was 30 months old. But I was in complete shock. Suddenly after having another baby and being apart for that long, made me realize she wasn't my "baby" anymore. It was so unreal. I kept looking at her hands and feet and kept saying over and over how BIG they suddenly grew while I was gone. It kind of freaked me out. I realized that she had become a toddler without me even realizing it. ; D
ReplyDeleteSo I know what you are feeling. But no matter what we do....they still grow up. The only thing we CAN do is what makes them STILL want to come back home for those visits. Or make those phone calls. Or write those letters. Let me tell you something.......I am beginning to understand that the MORE I "let them grow".....the more they come back for talks, hugs, kisses, and fun times. It's a funny thing. But it's my little secret. And now it's yours. They never REALLY do go away. Hugs!
You should have seen what a wreck I was when we cut my son's hair for the first time. And he was 2 before I let anyone cut those curls off. I couldn't handle it. :) So, I am in good company. Love you!
ReplyDeleteMYRIL! Do not feel funny that you are devastated about Cooper's hair because every time I cut Grady's hair (which has only been three times) it's like I lost something I was very attached to. It changes how they look and sometimes it grows back differently and a new stage comes. Your post was beautiful and so true about how they grow up so fast. I mean for goodness sake, Porter is lanky and gawky now! Where's his double chin??
ReplyDeleteIt yet again attests to the well known fact that a haircut can change more than the length of your hair. ;);)
Cooper is so handsome! I just love Evan's hair after I cut it short (2 x's now) it must be my profession to love all styles...he looked so nice with the curls too (and Cooper's curls will grow back if you want them too). thanks for the pictures!
ReplyDeleteYou wanted to know how to change the order of pictures.......just drag them over the next one and it will go there. Or.........drag, highlight, copy, and paste to where you want it and then delete the other one that you didn't want there. Did that make sense?
ReplyDelete